Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mom, we aren't ALLOWED to kiss in school

How is it that I suddenly find myself having conversations about girlfriends with my nine year old???

Sure, I was in kindergarten when I had my first boyfriend. His name was Scott (yes, I remember his last name too) and he liked my belt with sparkles in it. I chased him. He chased me. He broke my heart. I flipped over on the bar and got over it.

Young love.

But MY nine year old being aware that there are girls?

So not ready for that.

MotH and I were teasing AM last night about whether or not he thought any girls at school were pretty. Suddenly, he has an opinion!

Yikes.

Thankfully, Pokemon, Star Wars and Encyclopedia Brown still get top billing..........but I think I saw a brief glimpse into my future. And that future isn't NEARLY as far away as I want it to be!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIIVE

I would promise that this is the (re) start of regular blogging, but I'll be honest with you.

I'm a fickle person. Plus, it turns out that ENTIRE MONTHS go by without me realizing it. If I don't post again until next May it isn't because I'm lazy, it's because I'm unaware of the passage of time.

For example: NR turned ONE yesterday. ONE!!! How is it possible that twelve months have gone by since I had my epidural?!

I MEAN THE BABY. Since I had the baby.

And since you asked, I'm back to pre-pregnancy weight. Oooohhh, ahhhhh......I love the magic of the internet. Particularly when I don't have a webcam to expose my stretching of the truth for what it really is...........a blatant, fat-faced lie.

Since I've been an absentee blogger for a good number of months, I've had time to amass a list of observations. Here are a couple:

What happened to AM? No, seriously. What happened? Was it Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Alien abduction? Why was he incapable of rolling his eyes at 8 years 364 days, then embracing that as his sole means of expression the day he turned 9?

And the looks! I know I NEVER looked at my mother that way.

*ahem* (I wonder if my mom still reads this).

What about NR? What's he up to these days? Oh, JUST MAKING ME CRAZY. I swear. How many arms/hands come standard on a baby these days? I don't recall paying for any upgrades (just your standard PPO package), yet I seem to have received a baby with at least four arms/hands.

There are times when I swear that my entire day consists of me moving him from one contraption to another to keep him out of things.

And why does he eat my furniture? My poor ottoman looks like it's been attacked by rabid Chihuahuas. He now has eight teeth and I'll be honest with you..... I'm not sure he was ready for the responsibility. Is it legal to put tobassco on things to keep him from chewing on them (vinegar didn't work. He likes pickles too much.).

Let's see. What other critically important news should I share?

I AM HAVING A TOTAL HAIR CRISIS.

I get my hairs did about every three months. Highlights, lowlights. Love 'em.

All of a sudden, I am sprouting grays faster than I can afford to make a trip for camoflauging. They are, of course, ALL around my face.

I'm completely distraught. Distressed is an understatement. I don't know what to do! Do I use a semi-perm color to buy me time between salon visits? Embrace my natural side and let it do what God intends.

Okay, that is SO not going to happen.

MotH laughs and thinks it's funny. Of course his solution is to ignore it (let's see how he feels when people ask him why he's hangin' with his mother!) or to have me color it myself. Nevermind the fact that the last time I did that, he said "I don't think that's a color found in nature".

This is going to get too long. I need to pace myself. No need for months of silence in one post.

Until next time. Whenever that is...........