Monday, April 27, 2009

Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. Really!

I have the pleasure of knowing a couple of my blogging friends in "real" life (yes, I meant to put "real" in quotation marks. What is "real" life anyway? There, that should give you something to ponder for a minute or two.). Recently (as in today), one of them posted her "Random Musings" that was actually a list of questions.

Since the well of blogging ideas is running a little dry in the Land O' Imperfect (yes, I have my own land), I thought I'd copy her questions and answer them here!

How totally shameless am I?! It's awesome!

Here we go. For clarity, the original question will be purple.

***Do you ever wake up in the morning and decide that you HATE the color, cut, and style of your hair? Do you then spend countless hours searching for a picture of a new complementary 'do while ignoring your family and the house? Do you then discover that no hairdo is good enough, only to look up and discover that your family and home have been neglected for shallow reasons? No? That's just me? Huh.

For the record, I like Mrs. Nurse Boy's hair. It's only MY hair that I sometimes hate. Lately, I hate it A LOT. I hate the cut. I can't really tell you what happened since it used to be a good cut. I think it has something to do with four stylists in about 12-18 months (and there's a reason I keep switching).

The color is okay, but rather unremarkable. My highlights are a little too yellow.

Oh, and I find that if you Google "medium hair styles" and than look though Google images, you can find a lot of great ideas. Sadly, I'm too much of a chicken poop to try any. The devil you do know is better than the devil you don't know.......at least when it comes to hair.

***Do you ever feel like you are the ONLY one trying to keep the house clean and tidy? PLEASE don't tell me that is just me!

I believe this is a precursor to a "discussion" that goes something like this: Why do I even bother? I spend all of my time trying to make the house nice and someone turns right around and messes it up. Can't anyone else see this mess? Is there any particular reason why the dish didn't get rinsed off? Why are the shoes in the middle of the floor? ARE BOTH OF YOUR ARMS BROKEN?!

***Do you ever find yourself wishing that your oldest was back in diapers and potty training because, while you once thought that was the hardest part of parenting, you now know that it gets so much more difficult. (I NEVER thought I would feel that way and, for the record, I am exaggerating. But, I do miss the simplicity of those parenting days...)

I've finally reached a stage in parenting where I look back and think "man was I ever naive. Did I really think THAT was the 'hard' stage?". Unfortunately, I also realize that as hard as NOW can be, I know it will only get harder. Finally, just before I'm ready to tar and feather my offspring, he'll move out, fall in love, get married *sob* and start hanging out with his wife's parents. I will then sit in an empty nest and wonder what was so hard about that parenting gig anyway. Because the hardest part is when they are no longer there.

***Do you ever look into your children's eyes and find yourself amazed and proud of who they have become? Yet, still anxious to see who they will be?

Yes. I pray that the positive parts of his personality survive adolescence.

***Do you ever wake up in the morning and wish you could throw the alarm away and sleep for several more hours? (I think I feel that way every morning.)

Currently my alarm clock plays white noise so the baby will sleep. I don't know if it's really necessary, but I'm afraid to turn it off and find out.

My alarm is really MotH's cell phone, so throwing it would likely get me in a lot of trouble and cost me a significant amount of money.

But yes, I would l-o-v-e to just lay in bed for a couple more hours every morning. I rarely great a new day with a smile. I usually get pulled into a new day kicking and groaning.

***Do you ever wish you were the "Daddy," since daddys are welcomed home with a song and a dance and mommys field the "Can I have a snack?" and "When is dinner?" questions?

I try to tell myself "they know they can depend on me to care for them", but the reality is that dad is the good time guy and I'm the meal wagon. I've come to believe that high on the list of requirements for being a mom is "able to be taken for granted" (hopefully just by kids, not hubbys too).

***Do you ever find yourself wishing you had a "life" only to discover that your calendar is too full of soccer games, play dates, and birthday parties to have one?

Honestly, no. First, because AM isn't involved in any sports right now. Second, because we really don't have many "friends" that would invite us, or AM, to a birthday party. I wish I had a few more things on my calendar. I sound rather pathetic.

***Do you ever long for 10 minutes of nothing but pure silence and a Diet Coke? And, maybe, some dark chocolate?

YES! It's a sad, sad thing when I look forward to a trip to the grocery store because I can go by myself and think my own, uninterrupted, thoughts. Plus, the check-out lines have plenty of chocolate and I can eat it in my car, on the ride home (which sometimes isn't the a-to-b route, but more of an a-g-y-q-m-e-b route, if you catch my drift. Especially if there's a good song on the radio.), without someone trying to talk me out of it.

So there you go, Mrs. Nurse Boy. You asked, I answered. You may not have wanted my answers, but you gave me something to blog about. For that I say "thank you".

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Not Much to Report

I know it's been a while since I blogged and frankly, it's because I'm taking a Blogiday.

That would be a blog+holiday in case you're having trouble following along. You really should bring your A-game when you read my blog. I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, there just isn't much going on of interest in my life right now. I'm crazy busy at work and more than a little stressed out. By the time I get home (or get done working after the kids are in bed), the last thing I want to do is lay my hands on the keyboard one more time.

Plus, the tendonitis in my thumb and my ulnar nerve pain is bad right now. Yes, that was a shameless bid for sympathy.

So..........unless Imperfect Dad decides to take over the reigns (there's a better chance of pigs flying through frozen hell), I may be scarce for a while.

Until then.........

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

It's 8 O'clock Somewhere.

Did you know that there is an ideal time to work on a car/boat/4-wheeler?

It just so happens that the PERFECT start-time occurs ONLY between 7:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

If you miss that window, you'll have to help your wife get the kids to bed...........OOPS! Did I just type that out loud?

Not that I would ever do that. NO, no, no. It's very self-sacrificing of me to go to the garage at that time. It's not to avoid the screaming, red-faced baby that fights sleep until it finally grabs him in it's steely claws. It's DEFINITELY not to avoid the "get your pj's on. Get your pj's on. GET YOU PJ'S ON OR YOU WILL BE GOING TO BED WITH A SORE FANNY IF I HAVE TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME"-routine with AM.

No, I'm working on the car/boat/4-wheeler for Imperfect Mom. That's right. Even if she doesn't RIDE said 4-wheeler, and isn't really sure it's such a great idea to plan our summer entertainment around an activity that requires a bathing suit, it's still for her. You know, if I'm happy she's happy.

Something like that. I'm really martyr-like in that way.

So when I disappear into the garage between 7:30 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. 75% of the time, it's not because I don't enjoy the bedtime routine. It's for my wife.

Because I love her.

Signed - MotH

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Broken Spring

I hate to say this.

Really I do.

But sometimes you have to call a duck a duck.

Spring is a tease.

Hard freeze tomorrow night. It was near 70 today.

I guess I should be glad my toenail polish chose today to chip, since I won't be in sandals for several more days.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Sick Kids, Presentations and Insomnia - OH MY!

I'll address these issues in the order in which I listed them..........

Sick kids: So much for the adenoid removal. AM is sick AGAIN. Double ear infection and a sinus infection. He's obviously on the road to recovery, though, since I'm up (or, more accurately, out of bed) at 5-something in the morning giving him a breathing treatment.

Scary side note: the pharmacy mixed his antibiotic wrong and he ended up getting nearly a triple dose of it the first two times I gave it to him. I was NOT a happy mama bear.

Presentations: Two today. They will be my third and fourth of the week. I am the "administrator" of a new internet-based program our IT guy created and in charge of training. Usually the account reps handle it (this is the "basic" training), but these are our "big" accounts and they want me to do it.

The fact that these are some of our "big" accounts does not a calm heart make.

I'm confident that I can handle it, but still nervous. MotH keeps telling me "they are just people" and that's true.

If only I had something to wear that made me look professional and helped give me a little confidence boost.

Isn't that silly? I know clothes don't "make" the girl, but they sure do help.....ya know? It's hard to feel confident when you feel like a slump.

Yes, I had a baby. They don't know that. Whatever "magic" pregnancy weaved on my poor body has left me with this lump of dough stuck to my abdomen that would make the Dough Boy jealous (if anyone pokes it, I will not be held responsible for how I react. Nor will I giggle.).

Lump of dough = clothing that does not fit. I want a suit, but canNOT find a jacket that fastens without it making me look like a linebacker in the shoulder area and a stuffed sausage in the belly.

Sexxxxxxxay! (For the record, I don't want to be sexy........but I do not want to be a libido killer.)

Insomnia: this one is what brings me to my knees. I HAVE to have eight hours of sleep. Not seven. Not seven hours and forty-five minutes. Eight.

Insomnia means (duh) that I don't get eight. To be exact, I dozed for about two hours last night.

I have been on antibiotics for several weeks to try and get rid of a sinus infection and apparently this new one causes insomnia. I had a bottle of ambien left from the last anti that gave me insomnia, but I ran out. Night before last. So there was nothing for last night.

See the problem here? Sick kid (worry) + presentation and lack of confidence-boosting clothing (stress) + insomnia (insanity) = heck, I don't know but it's not pretty.

Thank heavens for albuterol, girdles and coffee.