The "Emperor" would be my new son. Why, you ask, do I call him the "Emperor"?
Simple: he determines when I eat. When I got to the bathroom. When I make dinner. When I wear a shirt.
And most importantly, when I sleep.
He a ruthless ruler.
He tends to wake up at 9pm and stay awake until around 3am. He is happy ONLY if in my arms, usually at the breast. It's making me wonder why I thought I wanted to breastfeed.
My typical night looks like this: I bring him downstairs and sit in the recliner. He'll fall asleep. Deeply asleep (usually with a full belly). I will go upstairs and lay him in his bassinet and the second my body hits my bed, he wakes up screaming and we start over.
Even if I try to sleep in the recliner he makes sure to cry/fuss about every 15 minutes to keep me from getting any substantive sleep.
Thursday night he actually slept in his bed, quietly, between feedings. I was overjoyed. Clearly he was just teasing me, because the next two nights were WORSE than the nights that preceded Thursday. He wouldn't sleep in his bed AT ALL, or in his swing, which had been our fall-back sleep method up to this point.
In fact, last night I went to bed at 8:30 p.m. to get some sleep prior to his next feeding (while MotH was still up). I slept for 90 minutes. That was it for the rest of the night. At 8am, I got MotH out of bed and slept until 10am.
I do not do well with lack of sleep. I get very sick feeling, not to mention grumpy.
I swear, the child knows exactly when I start to fall asleep and then launches "Operation: Bring Mom to Her Knees from Exhaustion" every night.
I don't know what to do. AM was a night owl, but we thought it was due to being in the NICU where there are no days and nights. NR has been home and I've tried to make it clear that day time is day time (open the blinds to let natural light in, make normal daytime sounds, turn on the tv, etc...) and that night time is for sleeping (dark, quiet, etc...), but I'm not having any luck.
We wake him up, try to keep him up, give him a bath, etc... None of it works. He's tightly swaddled (we've tried no swaddling too) and has white noise. I've even tried bringing him to bed with me (and breastfeeding in bed is a joke). Nope. Mom CANNOT be horizontal. Think I'm kidding? The more I try to recline in the chair, the more he fusses. He's his most content when I'm sitting straight up in the chair (holding him), making it impossible for me to sleep.
He even does it during the day. I try the "sleep when the baby is sleeping"-trick and the minute I lay down, he starts to fuss. He can go HOURS and sleep peacefully, but not if I dare try to rest.
Oh, and breastfeeding. How do you cope with the constant demands of a breastfed infant? He goes through periods of time where he wants to be at the breast for hours (sometimes during the evening, sometimes during the night). Unfortunately, I am having significant pain issues (thrush infection and just overall irritation) and being a human pacifier is only making it worse.
How do you cope? How can you get ANYTHING done when the baby will want to eat in another hour or so? He eats for 30-40 minutes and wants to eat again two hours from when he started. That means I have MAYBE 90 minutes between feedings (hence the reason I got 90 minutes of sleep last night........MotH watched him until the next feeding). Do they ever start eating faster? Do they ever go more then two hours from the start of one feeding to the next?
I'm at my wits end. Yes, I know that "this to shall pass", but when? How come EVERY other mom I know has a baby that lets her sleep at night (including my new nephew)? Not sleep all night, just sleep AT night?
As a side note, I'm still dealing with some PPD only I'm not sure if that's more of a problem because I'm not getting any sleep, or if it would be a problem even with sleep. I tend to believe I'd feel better if I could just get a little more sleep. I sit in my recliner (straight up and down, thankyouverymuch) and cry my way through much of the night, but most of my tears are centered around my intense desire for sleep.
Okay, and I'm also a little bitter when I go in our room and see MotH peacefully snoozing the night away. I know that's not a pretty way to feel, but there it is nonetheless.
Anyway, I know y'all come on this board for more light-hearted fare then this post and eventually I hope I feel light-hearted again.
One more side note: I have a feeling that I'll feel about breastfeeding the way I felt about being pregnant. I loved parts of being pregnant just as there are parts of breastfeeding that I love. However, I couldn't wait for it to be finally be over........then when it was, I missed it. I think that's probably the way breastfeeding will work.
Oh, and if anyone has any pearls of wisdom, I would appreciate them. I start working from home in about three weeks and right now, I don't see how that's possible. When AM was first home, my job was mostly busy work. Now, it requires functioning brain cells. Unfortunately, my brain cells demand sleep in order to function. Good times.
2 years ago