Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Being a Camel.........and Opposites Attract

No, I couldn't settle on one topic tonight, but then I rarely do.

I need to talk about the insatiable thirst I have. No amount of water drinking will satisfy. I guzzle the stuff all day, yet still crave more.

Someone asked me what I do with all the water I drink. I told them I'm a camel, only my hump attached on the wrong side.

Surely camels don't drink as much as I do.

As a result, I am single-handedly keeping bathroom tissue companies in business. One double roll a day, people. One. A. Day. I'm like a one-woman deforestation machine.

Now my second topic, on opposites.

I had a doc visit Monday and they did an ultrasound "growth check". Now I know there is a little wiggle room in their calculations, but the long and short of it is the baby is big for his gestational age.

In fact, now my doctor is worried he might get too big (which means what.....he'll have to start paying me rent to live full-time in my uterus?).

Only I could swing from one of the smallest babies (AM weighed 1 lb 2 oz, for those that don't know) to potentially giving birth to a chunker. This little man is already the size AM was WHEN HE CAME HOME, which seemed gigantic at 5x's his birth weight.

This has sufficiently freaked me out. See, it hurt to deliver a one pounder. Yes, I know there are those in my "audience" that have done the whole natural childbirth thing and I'll be hard pressed to garner any sympathy from that person, but the idea of delivering a baby six, seven or even eight times that size causes more then a casual wince.

Yeah, yeah. Women used to squat in rice patties, deliver and go back to picking rice. Good for them.

MotH told me the other day "you'll probably have a 10 pound baby" (he was nearly 10 pounds). Now why would he jinx me in that way? Yes, I'd rather have a 10 pounder then a one pounder, but really.......is there something wrong with a nice, seven pound baby?

I can do this, right? I mean I know I don't have a choice, but......I can do it, right?

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