Monday, September 29, 2008

Warning. The following post is rated PG-13.

Yes, two posts in one night. Don't think this will become a habit.

I should warn the more easily embarrassed among us to stop reading now. I'm going to talk about something of a delicate nature. Of course watch about 15 minutes of television and it will be shoved in your face three times, but I should still put the disclaimer out there.

It is getting impossible to watch television without needing to break out the "This is Your Body" book.

Just when I start to relax, one of "those" commercials comes on. You know the ones. About ED (okay, erectile dysfunction.........there, I said it. Are you happy?). While I'm grateful that Bob Dole is no longer doing those commercials (a visual image I could have died happy without having, thankyouverymuchsenatordole), why must there be such a prolific number of these commercials?

They are so graphic!!! Particularly the warnings. "If you have an erection lasting more then four hours, seek medical help".

(Now I'm blushing)

First, four hours? Clearly these are people without young children. Plus, who exactly would need the "medical assistance"?

I'm getting off-topic, but let me just say that IF we ever had a need for those pills in this house and IF either of us ended up needing "medical attention", I would be hiding that bottle faster then you can say "Viagra".

Anyway, every time one of these commercials comes on, the house gets hear-a-pin-drop-silent and I wait for the inevitable "mom, what's an erection?". I usually try to ask a loud question right at that moment in the commercial and so far that seems to be working (meaning the question hasn't been asked), but I know my days are numbered.

Why oh why must they constantly air these commercials? We watch a lot of Discovery Channel and TLC and are BOMBARDED with them. They were even on during the Chiefs game yesterday.

WE GET IT. MEN LIKE THEIR JUNK TO WORK. NOW SHUT UP WHILE MY KID IS WATCHING.

My mother used to bemoan feminine hygiene product ads when we were growing up, particularly when my little brother was watching tv. Remember the Summer's Eve commercial where mother and daughter strolled down a sandy beach talking about "freshness" (anyone actually HAVE one of those moments with their mother? Yeah, me either.)? She particularly HATED that one.

I always thought she was overreacting. I mean periods are just a fact of life, right? Besides, what kid REALLY watches commercials (assuming they aren't for some toy they immediately decide they HAVETOHAVERIGHTNOW).

Then my brother got in trouble at school for calling another boy a vaginal yeast infection. Guess he was picking up more then we thought. (For the record, when asked he said he didn't know what that was, only that it "must be really bad because the women on tv are always upset when they have one".)

So I live in constant fear that my son will get into a verbal spar with another child at school, or church, and tell him he's just mad because his erection has lasted more then four hours.

I'll apologize now, should your child be on the receiving end, and can only say that we were just trying to watch Mythbusters and got more then we bargained for.

4 comments:

Nurse Boy said...

Thanks Imperfect, Now I have that not so fresh feeling.


I have plenty more where that came from, but I don't want your blog to have to go NC-17.

mommy4life said...

I'd hide the pills too, if that were a problem. I know what you mean, we try to mute or flip channels when those come on. The Victoria's Secret ones are pretty bad too.....visually. At least they can't put prophylactic commercials on tv (that's my 50 cent word for the day!!)

Nurse Boy said...

You had me laughing and blushing all at the same time!!!!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Imperfect Mom said...

How did I know that THIS would be the post that would get comments :).

We were trying to watch Planet Earth the other night and a Victoria's Secret commercial came on. What is UP with that?? I had to turn the channel too and of course AM wanted to know "why".

Bless his little heart, he must think "that's just what my mama looks like, so I don't know why she's so frantic to turn the channel".