Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Quickest way from A to Pee

I just returned from a family reunion in Colorado.

We drove out there in two shorter, more manageable bursts over Thursday and Friday and then drove ALL the way home on Sunday. That's roughly 11 hours in the car. While pregnant.

Anyway, that isn't really the point of this blog post. This post is to try and invoke a little sympathy for my plight, since I received NONE from my family.

I was abandoned by my brother and his wife. I was abandoned by my sister and her family. I was even abandoned by my parents (they jumped ship with my brother).

I probably would have been abandoned by MotH, except I believe the law frowns on leaving your pregnant wife at a gas station in the middle-of-nowhere-Kansas.

Why such cruelty? What did I do to deserve such wanton desertion?

I had to pee. A lot.

I can understand my brother's abandonment. I suppose it was fair for my parents to abandon me. After all, my mother's already had to deal with me being the cause of frequent potty breaks (while pregnant with me), so it's hardly fair to expect her to go through that twice.

However, one would THINK my sister would be more sympathetic since she's pregnant too.

I have come to the conclusion that pregnant+altitude+small cup o' Joe = the ability "go" twice my weight in water.

For example, we left our cabin Sunday morning. I decided to use the girl's room in Fraser, CO (never waste an opportunity to go potty, I always say......"always" meaning since last Thursday). By the time we got to Winter Park, a mere THREE MILES AWAY, I had to go again. Really had to go. It was at that point that my sister decided to jump ship.

I tried to get the whole family (extended family) to give me a map and let me get a head start on our trip to Leadville (we were there to sprinkle the ashes of my grandparents at a lake near Leadville). I tried to explain that I would be making frequent stops, but they all reassured me "that's okay, we'll probably need to stop anyway".

After the second stop, my dad began to anticipate my "need" and he claimed HE needed to stop. I'm pretty sure that was just to take the heat off of me and I love my pop for taking one for the team. By the time we got to Leadville, the good-natured grumbling had turned into heavily burdened sighs and avoiding eye contact.

Hey, I warned them! Whoever said blood is thicker then water obviously didn't mean THAT kind of water.

The one comic moment came when MotH asked me "where I wanted to stop" and I responded "whatever is the quickest way from A to Pee". I stinkin' crack my self up sometimes.

Unfortunately laughing only makes the problem worse.

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