Wednesday, June 25, 2008

P17 = devil in a syringe?

This will be short. I should add a disclaimer: I'm not sure if this entry will make sense.

Today was worse then yesterday. I can handle the emotional crisis (not asking MotH for his vote). I can handle the stomach cramps I'm getting (I got the same thing from the progesterone I took 1st trimester, only this stuff is a lot stronger, thus more cramps). I can even handle how hot I am.

I'm not sure I can handle how tired I am. This is worse then when AM came home from the hospital and was up from 10pm-5am'ish every night for months.

I actually feel slightly drunk (I have a past, so I do know what that feels like). I'm not sure when I talk if what I'm saying makes any sense. It's hard to focus on anything (like a book or my laptop). I lay down, but can't sleep (during the day.......I've been sleeping okay at night, although that doesn't seem to help the sleepiness during the day).

*sigh* What I wouldn't give to be able to suck down some coffee during the day.

I called the doctor's office today (I had to go home from work after only three hours, it was so bad......I'm lucky I made it home driving!) to see if this is "normal" and if it gets better. The answer "some women" have these symptoms and they only sometimes get better over time.

Please, God, let me be one of the few.

I'm not being a very good mom (grumpy exhaustion will do that), so I feel intense mommy guilt over that.

I know it's temporary. I know WHY I'm doing this. I just hope that those around me understand why I'm doing this, though judging by some of the comments I got this morning, some don't.

I'm going to try and start getting the shots towards the end of the week in hopes that days 1 & 2 will end up being the worst (and I can endure them over the weekend, when MotH is home all day). Please, let it gradually get better as the week goes on!

Only 17 more to go.

Oh, and sorry. This wasn't as short as I anticipated.

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