Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Baby bump?! Already??!!

To the uninformed observer, I look like I'm getting pudgy. Since I just now gained back the pound I initially lost, that isn't the case. The pudge I have is the pudge I had at the beginning of this journey, no more and sadly, no less.

The truth is that I already have a baby bump. More accurately, it's a baby "lump", since it in no way resembles the smooth, round, prominent tummy of an obviously pregnant woman. No, this looks more like someone pumped air in behind my decidedly NON-smooth belly, uh, padding. Think refrigerator biscuit dough. Get the picture?

Even stranger? By the end of the day, I look about 5/6 months pregnant (I look about 3/4 in the morning). I'm guessing my un-taut stomach muscles have given up the fight by 4pm.

True confession: I've been wearing maternity pants for a couple of weeks already and my "normal" pants have been worn with a belly band. For the most part, I could have worn (note the past-tense) my "normal" pants, but having anything remotely snug around the mid-section makes me nauseous.

However, "fat" pants wouldn't fasten. They fastened just spiffy a week ago. Yesterday, not so much.

So off to the JcPenney's Outlet Store I went last night to buy a few things to get me by. I have a good collection (thanks to ebay) of shirts to wear, but needed some work appropriate bottoms.

Wanna hear some irony (that's a rhetorical question, since I acknowledge that the only person I'm talking to is myself)? I bought one of those empire-waist shirts (from "misses", not from maternity) that are all the rage right now and I should be able to wear it l.o.n.g. into the pregnancy, whereas the makers of maternity wear apparently think it's cute to make skin tight shirts to show off belly. Since I've already mentioned the dough-like quality of my mid-section (this post has a lot of hyphens in it), skin tight is NOT pretty. Trust me on this.

I ended up with a linen skirt that I may live in. I will definitely be going back to buy more. For $9.99, it's a deal that's hard to beat. I got a couple of shirts, a pair of dressy crop pants and I'm sure some other things my pregnancy-stricken brain has forgotten.

I'll need to start rethinking my shoe choices too, since I began the day in a pair of heeled "thong" shoes that I had to take off, for fear that my extra weight would cause my toe to be severed clean off. Plus the heel made my back hurt.

It's a sad day, ladies, when a girl's gotta give up her heels. I had anticipated sailing through this pregnancy in sharp and stylish shoes. I'm not saying I'm prepared to go all the way to Birkenstocks, but I would have gladly traded the appendage severing thongs with a pair of Birks at around 11am today, if given the opportunity.

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